Looking to Live the Life You Want? Start By Being Honest With Yourself
You know the phrase “making a mountain out of a molehill”? Well what’s the catchy phrase for minimizing something that’s actually important?
You know, like when you let a “joke” slide because you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable by calling them out…
Or when you ignore that little twinge in your gut and choose to stick with something because you “made a commitment”... even though you really don’t want to devote any more time, effort, or energy to it...
Or when you take on yet another take or responsibility out of “obligation”... even though you’re overbooked and under-rested.
In each of these examples, you’re taking a mountain and turning it into a molehill.
Put another way, you're taking the truth of your needs and desires and minimizing them to be more palpable for others to hold and experience.
(I even drew you a Picasso-level graphic to demonstrate this 👇🏾)
But here’s the thing—
Lord willing you’re going to be here today, tomorrow, and the day after that and the day after that…
The time is passing by anyway, so why not spend it in ways that you actually feel good about?
Why not actually honor yourself as much as possible?
If you’re reading this and feeling like I’m talking to you, that’s because I am. And I want you to know that there’s a difference between the type of inaction that comes from not knowing something and the type of inaction that comes from knowing something and choosing not to do something about it.
One is about circumstance.
The other is about decisions.
Because each time you downplay your values, needs, wants, boundaries, expectations, self-respect, and time in the name of "keeping the peace" or being "nice," you're chipping away at the one precious life that you've been gifted.
Now I know that it can be hard to flip a switch and start treating the mountains in your life with the respect and reverence they deserve and that it’s going to take some work to undo days, weeks, months, or even years of conditioning and habits, so here’s how you can start:
1. Think through the stories you tell yourself and the stories you’ve been told about what’s possible, required, and optional for you and your life.
Are those stories true for you and whose stories are they? Do they serve you now? Did they ever serve you?
2. Identify all the things that are mountains for you—things that are steadfast and sturdy.
What are the things you value and hold dear? What do you need to be the truest, happiest version of yourself? What is required for you to not just survive, but to thrive in various situations, contexts, and environments?
3. Reflect on all the ways you’ve minimized these mountains in the past and—most importantly—why.
Who or what were you trying to protect? What, if anything, would you do different knowing what you now know?
You might find that the things you once thought of as mountains aren’t mountains after all, either because they were never that important to begin with and you just thought they “should” be held to a certain esteem, or because you’ve reached a point where they don’t factor into your plans, needs, or desires as much as they used to.
Whatever the reason, just think about it and be honest with yourself.
Because this act of deception—which is what it is when you minimize the things that are important to you—eventually throws off your inner compass and turns down the volume of your inner voice until you can no longer trust yourself and your instincts.
And we both know that you deserve more than that. So if you’re feeling the pull to reclaim your mountains…
… and limit the molehills…
… and get rid of the deception…
… and tune back into your inner compass…
So today, commit to being honest with yourself and others.
Commit to speaking up about the things that matter to you.
Commit to being clear about what it is you want and need, and why.
Commit to yourself.
And if you need some help with that, then take a look at LIFE BY DESIGN, my 90-minute self-paced masterclass specifically created to help you move beyond simply existing to actually living. For details about the program, visit the course page where you can learn more, watch the welcome video, and get immediate lifetime access.