Need Courage to Move Forward? Fear is Your Greatest Strength
Fear is nothing new.
Whether it be the fear of failure, fear of success, or fear of rejection and ridicule, when it comes down to it, fear is one of the major hurdles that keeps folks from starting, pivoting, changing, and moving forward towards the things they say they want for themselves…
And (spoiler alert) it isn’t going anywhere any time soon.
Nor should it.
As human beings, our ONE real job in this life is to stay alive by keeping ourselves as safe as possible. When taken in this light, it makes total sense why the fears you and I have each day exist.
The fear of failure might keep you from starting a new hobby because what if you’re not good at it and you prove all the negative things you sometimes think about yourself to be true?
The fear of success might keep you from going after that promotion at work because what happens if you do get the job and it turns out that you actually hate it? Would that mean for all those canceled plans, late nights, and other sacrifices you made? Would they have been for nothing?
The fear of rejection and ridicule might keep you from talking to that person you keep seeing in the gym because what if they don’t like you like you? Will you have to change gyms to save yourself the embarrassment?
As these and countless other thoughts swirl in your head as you look to move forward, I hope you allow this one to join the party:
Courage is not the absence of fear. It’s choosing to move forward despite the fear, despite the uncertainty, and despite the perceived dangers.
So what does this mean?
It means that, in order to move forward, you have to stop waiting to be fearless. That moment likely won’t come.
It means that, in the moments when fear does pop up, stop trying to demonize yourself for feeling it or villainize the feeling for existing. It simply makes you human.
It means that, rather than brushing past the discomfort, allow yourself to get curious.
Interview yourself and the fear to see what’s at the root of it.
What are you trying to protect yourself from?
What version of “safety” are you trying to maintain?
Because remember, as a human being, your ONE job is to stay alive by keeping yourself as safe as possible.
As we learn and unlearn, test and revise, discover and apply, we may consciously realize that the cycle of life is dependent on change, but that primitive, tunnel-vision subconscious part of us doesn’t always get the memo. And rather than allowing us to take calculated risks forward, it tries to keep us exactly where we are because that’s the safest it thinks we can be.
Why risk failing if what you’re already doing is fine?
Why risk succeeding if what you already have is okay?
Why risk ridicule and rejection if who you are is already accepted?
Why risk any of it?
The simplest answer?
Because in the risk lies the reward. That’s where the living happens.
So today, I invite you to lean into it.
Rather than trying to ignore your fears, approach them with compassionate curiosity.
Find out what they’re trying to teach you.
Identify which stories you can release and which ones still deserve a room in your life.
And as you think through this, here are some recent conversations I had all about fear and the ways it can pop up in different areas of your life:
Feeling Fear and Taking Action Anyway with Diana Morris — Celebrate Cultivate with Kaileen Elise
I joined Kaileen to talk about the distinction between intuition and fear (because there is a difference!), how to balance other people’s opinions with your own inner knowing, and how to hold and call in the type of support you need.
Take a listen here: https://www.kaileenelise.com/podcast/diana-morris
Diana Morris, Truth & Clarity — Friends of Failure with Sam & Megan
Sam, Megan, and I talk about finding your way as you navigate different pitfalls and levels of awareness throughout your life. We talk about adapting to new information, how to help the people in your life that may be struggling, and why “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink” is only part of the story.
Take a listen (and watch!) here: https://youtu.be/nNd19weArZw
Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway — Shot@Love with Kerry Brett
I joined Kerry to discuss the fear we sometimes feel when it comes to the actual act of finding someone to be in relationship with. We talk about the power of using all of the tools available to you (yes, including dating apps) and how important it is to remember that rejection, while difficult, is simply redirection.
Take a listen here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/844231/7281397
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