You know why you’re still feeling blah after that objectively wonderful manicure or bubble bath?
Or why that post-vacation high or post-massage glow disappears as soon as you walk through your front door or log back into your computer?
Because it was never about that…
And it never will be.
Now don’t get me wrong—
Ya girl definitely carves out a budget line to get her nails done every few weeks and has been known to get on a flight to explore…
But those are simply moments in time.
Caring for yourself is a long-term process that goes wayyyyyy beyond scheduled acts…
And it goes soooo much deeper than individual tasks designed to temporarily relieve the stress and pressure.
It’s a lifestyle.
And it’s one that requires you to be honest with yourself… even when believing a lie is much more comfortable.
It requires you to hold yourself accountable… even when you lack the motivation.
It requires you to give yourself compassion and grace… even when you’re filled with disappointment and regret.
It requires you to do what you can while you can do it… even when things aren’t perfect.
Here are some things you can begin doing for self-care right now, no calendar hold required 🗓:
1. Surrendering.
Rather than applying unreasonable pressure on yourself to perfectly control every single unknown factor or possible outcome of an action or decision, trust yourself enough to deal with whatever comes—when and IF it comes—in the best way you know how and just move.
2. Reassigning value.
Every action you take and every decision you make is a reflection of the value you place on yourself...
So if you're tying who you are to what you accomplish or what you do for others, you'll always leave yourself behind as you chase the next "big thing" and the next "urgent" issue.
3. Keeping your promises.
Specifically the ones you make to yourself... because honestly, how many more "last time"s or "tomorrow"s do you have left in you?
Do what you say you're going to do.
And if you keep finding yourself NOT doing the things you claim you want to, take time to consider why that is.
4. Redefining support.
What does "showing up" mean for you?
Does it require you to be all things for all people at all times, even at the expense of your well-being, health, and happiness? If so, how's that been working out for you so far?
Give yourself permission to be honest about what you're willing and able to give to family, friends, associates, and strangers.
5. Asking for help.
What load are you carrying right now that isn't yours to carry?
Is there something on your plate that you could delegate or eliminate?
Because remember—closed mouths don't get fed... and you and I both know you're tired of starving.
6. Accepting help.
FYI, there are no prizes for unnecessary self-sufficiency.
The next time you find yourself declining an offer for assistance from a reliable, trusted source, pause and consider this:
Do you truly not need the help... or do you just want to be able to say that you did it "all by yourself"?
In other words…
It was never about the massages, the manicures, the bubble baths, or the vacations.
And it never will be.
So take a moment and decide right now:
Which one of these will you be incorporating into your life over the next few days.
Not sure where to start?
I suggest sitting with the one that makes you the most uncomfortable and viewing your reaction to it with compassionate curiosity. There’s likely something there for you to discover about yourself.